Going to the Dogs

Published on: 4/17/2012

It has been an interesting six months in my household.

Girlfriend became gravely ill with an auto-immune disorder immediately before last November's annual South Dakota pheasant hunt and male bondage weekend.  What followed was a stint in canine ICU.  For a short spell her survival was very much touch and go.  Months of treatment with steroids followed. 

So a partially-trained Labrador retriever pup was called off the bench to fill-in.  Sister took her big sister's place

Following that, someone at deer camp suggested that Sister looked 'pigeon-toed.'  I thought  - Huh?  As it turned-out Sister was, in-fact, 'pigeon-toed' and she had a veterinary orthopedist surgically realign her angular limb deformity with an external fixator. 

In the midst of all of this I spent three days in the hospital for a hip replacement.

We were beginning to think that three-fourths of the household was cursed.  We had some funky Si Chi working for us and money was flowing out the door in a torrent. 

We were going to the dogs. 

Here is what I have learned.  Lest you want to be cursed do the following:

It is a good policy to keep your personal health insurance policy fully-paid and on-time.  Hip replacements are expensive.  Furthermore, some have suggested I should have insured my dogs.  Yeah, I understand that veterinarians can be costly too, but I remain unconvinced that health insurance for pets is worth the outlay.   

Besides, the flow of Chi has improved and spring is upon us.  I have resumed all of my normal activities, Girlfriend is drug-free, bulked-up, buff and sassy.  She's her normal self.  And after three exceedingly long months - Sister finally had the hardware removed from her arm and is gradually being returned to a normal level of activity.

As further evidence of a return to the harmonious state of normal our delicate flower Girlfriend's flatulence has become more eye-watering.  And the chick magnet - Sister's - snoring has become more sonorous.  Some readers might conclude that we've still gone to the dogs.

I'd like to think it reminds me of deer camp...

Edit to add:  Keep your dental insurance paid-up or start a sinking fund for unplanned events.  A root canal procedure will stab you for a cool grand.