Both Sides of the Fence

A Tosa resident since 1991, Christine walks the dog, cooks but avoids housework, writes and reads, and enjoys the company of friends and strangers. Her job takes her around the state, learning about people's health. A Quaker (no, they don't wear blue hats or sell oatmeal or motor oil), she has been known to stand on both sides of the political and philosophic fence at the same time, which is very uncomfortable when you think about it. She writes about pretty much whatever stops in to visit her busy mind at the moment. One reader described her as "incredibly opinionated but not judgmental." That sounds like a good thing to strive for!

Let's really confuse 'em

Kids, Bristol Palin

What we see has more influence than what we hear. And who says the words matters as much as what she says.

Want a spokeswoman for marriage? The National Organization for Marriage has selected Carrie Prejean, Miss California and opponent of gay marriage, who has never been married herself but never mind that. She has all the qualifications for being a wife. . .

Okay. Maybe not. But she's hot, has nifty high-tech breasts but makes "no compromises for the tiara," and if you're a little confused about what this has to do with marriage, you're not alone.

Meanwhile, the Candies Foundation has named Bristol Palin

its spokeswoman for sexual abstinence.

Said Palin, "Regardless of what I did personally, I just think that abstinence is the only way you can effectively, 100% foolproof way you can prevent pregnancy."

How does she explain her own lack of abstinence and the adorable proof thereof? "I'm not quite sure, I just want to go out there and promote abstinence and say, this is the safest choice."

Am I the only one who wants to scream what are you THINKING?!

Critic and ex-boyfriend Levi Johnson is equally blunt: "It's not going to work," he said in another early morning tv interview.

Columnist Gail Collins tells us what the Candies people are thinking:  "Just because you are wearing  high heeled sexy shoes doesn't mean you should have a baby," said head of the Candies teen fashion line, Neil Coles.

While you don't need to have a baby just because you wear sexy shoes, you still will need to go to the bathroom,  this famous Candies  head-spinner image suggests, though why, who knows:

Here's another image from the guy who wants to tell girls, um, something about looking sexy and wearing shoes:

The new abstinence campaign is more the anti-Nike-just-don't-do-it approach, with not a shoe to be seen.  Less frivolous, it's designed to show strength: 

Great image. Conflicting message, though, wouldn't you say? If you can't read it, it says "I'm sexy enough to keep you waiting." It's provocative in two ways, not just one: revealing and challenging.

Collins says the message girls like this get

from Bristol Palin is:

If your handsome but somewhat thuglike boyfriend gets you with child, he will clean up nicely, propose marriage, and show up at an important family event wearing a suit and holding your hand. At which point you will get a standing ovation.

And even if things don't turn out that way, even if the boyfriend turns out to be an annoying jerk, you get to show up on Good Morning America while someone else takes care of the baby. Maybe in a couple years you can be Miss Alaska, and then the governor, and who knows what next!  All you need is. . .a little magic, a little luck, good genes or a surgical slush fund, and the ability to decline sex with a dazzling smile.

Unmarried bombshells as marriage models, teen mothers as abstinence models, potty shots and rocket shots to sell shoes, sexual provocation as a way to say no: It's no wonder girls (and the rest of us) are confused.

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